I have always been sure about that one day I want to have children. But does that mean that I have to give up travelling?
After getting married almost two years ago, many expected us to have children right away. I have heard the question; “Aren’t you going to have children soon?” more than people ask me how I am. Rumors of me being pregnant have gone around in Cochabamba, as soon as I use a dress or sweater that make me look a kilo heavier. Some even claimed we got married because I was pregnant! And even crazier, we have been asked if we are not able to have children since we do not have any yet…
In Bolivia it is very hard for people to understand that you want to wait with having children after getting married. But for us it was a natural choice to wait, we wanted to travel more before becoming parents.
Also here in Norway many of my friends, same age as me, already have 2-3 kids. Coming back to Norway two months ago, I kind of felt that I was missing out when not having children yet. But at the same time I reminded myself on that none of those friends have travelled the world, like me. Getting children early stops you from being able to do that. And the adventures I have gotten travelling for the last five years, I would not change them with anything. I can always get children later, but the travels would be more complicated to do with time, and especially after getting children. This scares me a bit as there are still so many wonderful places I would like to see.
My life the last five years have been just about travelling. Returning home to Norway and meeting my beautiful little niece for the first times, I understood that getting a child means putting everything else to the side. Even taking a shower or a nap will be hard to do the first months. So to just jumping on a plane to Turkey because you find a cheap ticket would for sure be impossible.
Even though I do want children, there is the other part of me with the wanderlust gene. The part that wants me to see every country in the world. I know that if I get children, they will be the focus of my world. My travel plans would be put a side. Am I ready to give this up? I am not sure…
My dad’s aunt, travelled the whole world with her husband. I was always inspired by her. But when she was old, and her husband died, she had nothing more to live for – because they never got any children. I never want to be in such a situation. It made me think what is most important!? Travel or family.
On the other hand, I see many travelers and travel bloggers that chose not to have children due to their lifestyle. They seem very happy with their life, and several studies have found that couples without children are happier than those with. Sure, travel makes me happy, and giving that up could mean less happiness.
At the same time, I know that there are many families travelling out there. I know I do not have to give up travelling totally if I get a child. But my travelling style will probably become very different. I cannot move to an armed conflict zone in Nigeria for six months. Live in the rainforest in Peru without water and electricity. I understand that my travels will be more like a charter–trip to Spain or Greece. Which can be nice as well!
But maybe most important of all, what I love the most about travelling is that new adventures happens every day. And I think that if I abstain from parenthood, I will probably end up missing out on the greatest adventure of all…